Dandelions

Today I went to lunch with my mother in law, Carolyn, her sister Dorothy, and Sue, Dorothy's daughter. We went to Granite City and had a lovely meal and enjoyable conversation. Unfortunately, when Carolyn got out of the booth she forgot it was a step down and fell, hurting her wrist. She asked to go to the restroom, so we took her there. As we were preparing to leave the restroom, a waitress stuck her head in and said "Oh, just seeing if everything was alright!", she giggled and closed the door.... strange. As we were leaving we were stopped at the door by the manager. He said he needed some information. Carolyn said she forgot there was a step, to which the manager stated, in a sarcastic voice - 'Well, you got up there." I was livid. How dare he make such a comment? Here a woman fell in his place of business and he had the audacity to act like it was all her fault. ERRRRRR!!!! I verbally lashed him - I couldn't believe it. He came back with some retort about one of his staff overhearing that we said there should be a sign or something there warning people and that made him angry. WHAT? So what if someone did say that - who cares?????? I told him I had not made any such comment ( Dorothy had made that comment to someone while we were in the bathroom) and it sounded like he was trying to accuse Carolyn of doing this on purpose. He tried to argue with me that he hadn't said that to which I responded that I wasn't going to stand there arguing with him and playing semantics games - he was out of line. I asked him for his card. He went to get it and by the time he returned he must have thought about his comments and started back pedaling. I was in no mood for his pandering and told him again I was angry and he had been out of line. Luckily for him I had to leave for an appointment so left the ladies with him. Carolyn reports that he was much kinder and business like during the rest of their dealings with him. Carolyn found out that she has either a contusion or fracture. She is waiting on a radiologist to read her xray. Her hip is a little sore, but hopefully it is just bruised from the fall. Prayers for healing for Carolyn and thanks to Dorothy and Sue for taking her xrays!

Stage 4 breast cancer is hard to explain to people. I am often asked 'how many more treatments do you have?' to which I have to respond - 'I don't know - probably one form or another for the rest of my life'. If my treatments are successful I will be stable, or better yet, put in remission (what we call NED - no evidence of disease). This doesn't mean that we are 'cured', it just means that for the moment we are free from visible cancer. Many people explain it that we are dealing with a chronic disease like diabetes. If you are in the group fortunate enough to have your cancer respond to treatment this is the case. Today, someone on my breast cancer discussion board asked how to explain Stage 4 BC to her friends. The following is a reply that I think is excellent and easy to understand:

"It's like dealing with dandelions after they've gone to seed. You know more will come up if you do nothing, so you keep putting the fertilizer w/ "pre-emergence" on to keep them from growing visibly. It doesn't mean they're gone - and you have to keep after them! Tell them (your friends) that the fact that the tumor & lesions are gone just means you've got the right "pre-emergence" for your cancer for now. Very good news, but doesn't mean you can stop treatments. "

I have two more treatments before I will have scans to see if my present treatment is getting rid of my 'dandelions'. I hope my oncologist is a good gardener and selected the right pre-emergent!