List of Ways to Help

FYI - this is my second blog today.
My friend, Diane, has requested a list of ‘ways to help’ to pass on to my PEO sisters. I thought this might be a good thing to share with everyone. I should think that this would be appropriate for most people going through similar circumstances – so might be helpful.

Number one on my list is to continue those prayers. I am not being flippant with this request. I truly believe that your prayers have gotten me this far, in as good of shape that I am. Today, at the hospital, I was told over and over how good I looked for someone who had been through what I had in the last week. I also kept getting – YOU are 53? YOU have kids that old? You must have had them early! I lapped it up. I LOVE that hospital staff.

If you are curious how I am, health-wise, read my blog. I have to think about my health all the time, and would prefer to not talk about it all the time. If you have specific questions that my blog doesn’t answer, I am not opposed to talking about it a LITTLE bit – but I really don’t get any joy from discussing it for a long period of time. Or email me so I can answer your questions, and then we can just have a fun conversation when we talk. I love to forget all about it!

Don’t be too kind in person and spend a lot of time telling me I am going to be fine and I will make it –rah, rah. I have every intention of beating this, but those types of words, in person, just make me teary. However, I don’t mind comments to that effect on my blog, in emails, or notes. I love to hear you are praying for me, thinking of me, etc. Just don’t dwell too long. It rattles me. Also, don’t dwell on how my family is dealing with it. They are dealing to the best of their abilities, each in their own way. If you want me to cry, talk about my family.

Watch my blog for signs of life. I won’t know how I will react to my chemo until I have been through it. It sounds like I will be a bit out of it for a week afterwards. If my blog sounds chipper – I am up for visitors and calls. If I am feeling rotten I will say so – or if I don’t blog at all you will know it is not a good day. It sounds like I will have one bad week and two good weeks between treatments.

Please don’t feel the need to bring me gifts when you visit. You are gift enough. On the same note, I am perfectly capable of buying my own lunch or coffee. If we go out – it’s Dutch treat.

A list of people who would be willing to run errands or take me to doctor’s appointments would be lovely. It wouldn’t be often, since Mark’s mom lives with us, but back ups, like my neighbor, Carol, are always nice to have. I know my friend, Diane, would put this list together for me.

If you have a book you think I might enjoy, I would love to borrow it. I don’t want anything thought provoking, scary, mysterious, etc. I need something light and frivolous, please. I will return it when done, so please put your name in it. Also, on that note, many of you brought me books during my first hospital stay in December and January and I would love to return them, but I don’t remember who gave them to me! If you gave me a book, please let me know and I will see that you get it back. If you have magazines you are done with, I would enjoy a few of these. They are good to take to appointments.

My immune system is going to be extremely challenged. If you even suspect you might be coming down with something, please do not visit.

Chemo brain is just around the corner. If I am forgetful, just know that this is temporary and I will one day be restored to a reasonably intelligent person once the chemo is withdrawn. You won’t hurt my feelings if you have to remind me of something I forgot or repeat myself. I would rather know!

If I react as I did the last time, smelly things are not my friend (perfumes, lotion, etc.). On that note, wearing heavy perfume when you visit, or having a strong smoke odor could send me running :-).

Hopefully, I will not be an invalid (all the time, anyway). Let me do for myself when I can. It is the only way I will be able to keep my strength up. But, on the same note, don’t think me wimpy if I decline invitations or have to bow out at the last minute of planned activities. Believe me – I would rather be doing. Please don’t be put off and just not invite me again. I promise I will participate when I can – and enjoy every minute.

There will be times I will have to limit how many visitors I have in a day. I know you will be understanding - just try another day because I am a people person and will need my occasional fix.

This is all I can think of for now. I appreciate everyone and am so blessed to have so many caring people in my life.