Not knowing how else to start this, I am just going to go full speed ahead. My cardiologist has found my heart is not beating right, and doesn't know if I have had a little heart attack, or if something else is happening - such as a blockage. I will have a stress test tomorrow and may have to have an angioplasty to see if there is a blockage.
My oncologist came in with all test results, and while everything else looks good and stable, the heart tests are back and there is evidence of breast cancer cells in the fluid. The biopsy of the tissue from the sac was clean. With this knowledge, it is necessary for me to move to chemo. The chemo I will have will be different than it was 4 years ago, as many changes have happened over time. At this time he will give me Abraxane - a new spin on Taxol - and Avastin - a drug designed to thwart blood vessel development. The first drug will take every stitch of hair on my body in less than one week - pretty powerful stuff. I think I am comfortable with this - I need my heart, after all, but dread the possibility of those long sick days. As soon as my cardiologist gives the nod, my surgeon will put in a port (a device placed under your skin by your heart for giving chemo and drawing blood) and chemo will begin. I will be on chemo for long term.
Returning to the heart, my oncologist says the heart problems could stem from a drug given me four years ago that can cause heart problems over the long term. It could also be the cancer working on it.
With all this in mind, I am not going to return to teaching this year, and made the announcement to my dept. head, Michelle, and co-teacher, Melanie, today. Melanie had the duty of reading my letter to my students - thank you, Melanie. I am sure that wasn’t easy. You have been such a Godsend.
I am now on a low salt, low fat diet. Remember all that weight gain I had spoken of? I lost 6 pounds from yesterday to today - and my feet are still swollen - so am anxious to see if I lose a bunch more tomorrow. I am on a diuretic to help remove all the fluid, so I am expecting good things.
Mark and I are forging ahead, frightened, but hopeful, and appreciate all your prayers and concern. I feel God’s presence in all the wonderful people that have touched my life today. It is an overwhelming feeling.
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7 comments:
jacque~
I am so glad Matt and I are coming to see you this weekend! I am so sorry to hear all this trouble has been going on since I saw you last. My prayers are continuous and always with you :)
If there is anything I can do for you right now, just let me know!
See you Friday
Love,
Courtney
Jacque,
What news! My prayers are with you and your whole family. Remember how many people are praying for you and sending you strong positive thoughts. You sound positive and resolute. Good luck on the stress test! Keep that faith up.
Krista
The timing is right and the battle is on! You can now focus on getting better and back to "normal".
Jacque,
Courtney has been keeping me up to date, however today is the first day I have logged into your blog. Continue to keep your faith and strength.
I just wanted to let you know my thoughts and prayers have been and will continue to be with you.
Faith
Ok ... tonight at SS, we talked about surrender and about walking with God even when there are risks involved. We talked about listening to God and trying to hear Him through the noise of the world.
At any point, I would love to have you come in and talk to the kids about what you are dealing with - and how you talk to God about all of it.
But, until then ... Jacque ... I'm simply praying for you. Knowing that God is caring for you is an amazing sensation. But, when those days come that fear wins out and you question everything ... we'll still be praying. Love you! Diane
~Jacque,
Every day you amaze me with your upbeat attitude. I am always praying for you and hoping that this long journal will sometime come to an end. Love you More then ever!
Love,
Kaitlin
P.S. I will be more then willing to bring you soup any time you want it. =)
Jacque,
God certainly has a way of testing our strength and our faith. I just wanted to let you know that you and Mark have been in my thoughts and prayers. My struggles pale in comparison to yours. I look to your positive, upbeat attitude and see that I need to give myself a reality check at times.
I am going to be sending you a written manuscript of a song I wrote a while back called "Hear My Prayer". It was the first Christian song I wrote but I feel it may be the best because of it's simple messages, all taken from Psalms. My wish is that you will be able to plink it out on the piano.....soon!
Be strong.....
Mark S.
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